


Feels Like Nothing

by Program



Category: Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels)
Genre: Character Death, Drugs, M/M, Snuff, dont expect scientific accuracy, honestly its just some self indulgent drabble ive been sleeping on for almost a year, im tired and i like death and just wanted to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 21:09:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16981836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Program/pseuds/Program
Summary: “It’s not normal tea.”“No shit, when do u ever make normal anything?” a soft-hearted downward roll of the eyes. “What’d you put in it?”“Oh... just... something new...”Sterling stared obliviously down into the cup, eyes lidded with fatigue and mind not really cloudier than normal. He’d been fine... he’dfeltfine, before his entire world pitched to the side.





	Feels Like Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Sterling is an OC of mine who i created for the sake of being able to beat the shit out of him over and over in fiction and as such I inserted him into the BTD games as the MC and generally all you really need to know is that he looks suspiciously like Scud from Blade and really are any of you surprised about that? Unlikely.
> 
> Anyway hi I’m back.
> 
> I am in fact still working on continuations of previous fics, im also working on rewriting alot of them to be alot less painful to read(I couldnt even read through them without cringing and I wrote them) but I promise I’ve been here, plotting, planning, lurking.
> 
> I hope you enjoy what’s become of me and my brain.

“It’s not normal tea.”

“No shit, when do u ever make normal anything?” a soft-hearted downward roll of the eyes. “What’d you put in it?”

“Oh... just... something new...”

Sterling stared obliviously down into the cup, eyes lidded with fatigue and mind not really cloudier than normal. He’d been fine... he’d _felt_ fine, before his entire world pitched to the side.

Confirmation that it was, in fact, his entire self falling towards the ground sideways hit him when he hit the floor, numbly staring as the glass he’d just been holding shattered in front of him, spilling tea all over the cold linoleum, his clothes, his face.... a piece of glass came to rest in front of his nose and he focused on it. It span loosely for just a moment before stilling.

His first thought was to apologize for breaking the cup, his second was how weirdly loud Lawrence was tip toeing over to where Sterling was effectively bound to the floor by gravity. Both thoughts would have seemed ludicrous to anyone except Lawrence and the man laying drugged at his feet.

“It’s just something new that I wanted to test,” Lawrence continued in a quiet voice. It bounced off the insides of Sterling’s skull anyways. “And I sort of forgot to tell you but I figured youd be ok with it if I just...”

He trailed off, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt with both hands.

“How does it feel?”

Sterling cant speak, can’t feel his tongue, slowly and surely can’t feel anything, Lawrence’s socked feet a blur of white against the dark plant pots behind him. He makes an effort anyway, loosing a mumble of nonsense as his brain swiftly swirls and sways.

Sterling can barely remember how he’d gotten to this point. At first it had been... well he supposed it had always been questionable.

They’d met through some shitty, backend forum for people with bad drug habits. Sterling’s had been the need to feel absolutely nothing at all for extended periods of time, and Lawrence.... Lawrence wanted to feel everything and had the means to give Sterling what he needed. Entirely for free.

How could he pass up such an offer?

They’d met over drinks in an equally shitty, backend bar somewhere in the shitty, backend areas of the city. Talked about things neither really fully understood but the conversation had felt productive nonetheless. Sterling had let the nervous blond take him home to test some light concoction he’d put together to see if it was to his liking. He hadn’t been aware that it was supposed to _kill_ him.

Lawrence also hadn’t been prepared for Sterling to _get back up_ hours later after he’d been dumped off in the woods and text him the next day.

Regardless to say, both had been somewhat surprised.

That had been months ago, and their bond had flourished between Sterling’s self destruction and Lawrence’s fascination with his... _condition_. He’d become a useful test subject and, over time, a kindred spirit that had provided a unique sense of domesticity in the otherwise hollow home.

Now, laying on the floor and watching the blurry shapes quiver and become something else entirely, he opened his mouth to speak again. All he could really produce was a high pitched noise of overstimulation as every nerve in his body seemed to individually acknowledge some kind of insect crawling through them.

Not just his skin, but his muscles and fat and he was fairly certain the entirety of his eyeballs as well, the expanse of his tongue, even his teeth. He squirmed, or at least he thought he did despite the hand resting on the floor just at the bottom of his vision not even budging an inch.

Lawrence crouched down, balancing on the balls of his feet and the tips of the fingers on one hand while he reached forward with the other, running a finger along the side of Sterling’s face. He flinched back when the dying man let out a broken choke of pain, absolutely fascinated with the effects he could have on the human body with just the right combination of ingredients.

Sterling began to shake, breathing shallow, as all those little insects seem to connect together and constrict all those little nerves in his body, burning through him like fire until unbidden tears scorched their ways down his face sideways to the floor. He remained completely helpless to combat the pain, edges of his vision fading before everything burst back into painful clarity, beyond clarity to blindingly vivid colors that burned into his eyes and further into the spaces behind them, flaring out until his entire brain felt the color.

Something shut off, then. A piece of his brain flickering like a dying lightbulb with a moth slamming its face recklessly into its surface with a too loud _tink tink tink_ and the connecting parts of his brain seemed to slowly follow one by one as saliva dripped out of the corner of his mouth to pool with his tears on the floor beneath his head.

Slowly his vision faded back out until it was completely black, though he was fairly sure his eyes were open, and everything crested in a moment of wonderful agony before it just... _stopped_.

A ringing consumed whatever thoughts he could’ve had as his body shut down following the deactivation of his mind and Sterling found that sweet fucking nothingness that kept him coming back to Lawrence again and again.

He let it take him, body dying as it had an innumerable amount of times in his life already and granting him a brief sense of peace.

His heart stopped beating with a final, core rattling _thump_.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, constructive criticism is very welcome. Im an artist looking to grow.


End file.
